Jack Kost

Friday, July 21, 2017

The Emotional Roller Coaster of Managing Emotions with MS:

July 18, 2017

by Teresa Wright-Johnson

In Columns, Patiently Awakened - A Column by Teresa Wright-Johnson.

I am an emotional, sensitive woman. I like to believe that I have a warm heart in a very cold world. Isn’t this what the world needs? Love, warmth, acceptance and transparency?

Recently I find that my emotions change within a millisecond. So, instead of being sensitive, I am “super sensitive.” I am easily offended, and I also can be the one who offends another. I cry more often. These emotional highs and lows are exhausting. If I had to describe it, my emotions are entangled, like spaghetti. A millisecond is defined as one thousandth of a second. With this definition in mind, it is safe to say that my description of my emotions may be a little exaggerated, yet I want to ensure that I paint a clear picture.

I can proceed from a state of happiness, to anger and even despair within moments. We each have different temperaments and reactions. I am finding that my patience at times can diminish quickly. This, of course, places me in a quandary, as I am on a quest to transform into a peaceful, grateful, “patiently awakened” individual.

I have spoken to others who battle chronic illness. Changes in emotions seem to be a common denominator among us. I sometimes feel as if I am on the verge of an emotional breakdown. It’s as if my emotions lead me to the apex of intolerance, yet there is something that prevents me from losing it completely. If you can imagine this, or if you’ve been here, this is extremely difficult to admit – and even more toilsome to discuss.

Healthline published an article written by Jeri Burtchell and Ana Gotter titled “Understanding and Managing Multiple Sclerosis Mood Swings.” In the overview the writers described the same emotions I mentioned and often experience. “You may be happy one minute and angry the next … these are examples of mood swings, which are common in some people with multiple sclerosis (MS).”

The article goes on to state that “mood swings are a common symptom of MS. But the connection between the disease and emotions often goes unrecognized. It’s easy to see many of the physical effects of MS, such as problems with balance, walking or tremors. In comparison, the emotional impact of the disease is less visible from the outside.”

The article resonated with me for several reasons. First, it reiterated that I am not alone in my struggle. Second, most of my symptoms at this point in my disease are not really visible. I suffer from extreme fatigue, severe pain, restlessness, anxiety and additional things that others cannot see. I have been told I hide it well. Living with invisible illness is complex and vexatious. We often are “betrayed and reduced” by the “you look fine” syndrome, which we know fails to encompass and respect our entire situation. We are always fighting a battle.

It is ironic that our emotional outbursts and mood swings often are taken out on those we love the most, or those who are the closest to us. They see what the public cannot envision. They witness our emotional struggles in real time and they, too, are affected. I am sometimes guilty of this behavior and after my outbursts I experience remorse.

At times I regret something that I may have said in anger and I feel powerless as my reactions subjugate my reasoning. If you haven’t realized yet, I am having a moment where I feel completely exposed. I often say there is power in vulnerability, and someone needs to hear that they, too, are not alone.

Yes, I am positive and optimistic most of the time and I sincerely appreciate my life. However, I am made of flesh and in my humanness lies imperfection, anxiety, fear and, of course, strength. Having MS and chronic illness is a difficult walk. I could have or would have never imagined this; nonetheless I am here, and this is my reality. This roller coaster of emotions is a ride that I do not enjoy. I have to sit with myself and ride this out. I can hope only that these mood swings will quell and, with proper assistance, I will better manage my emotions that come with the disease.

“Understanding and Managing Multiple Sclerosis Mood Swings” discusses methods of managing and coping with these myriad emotions. “The first step in taming your MS related mood swings is speaking with your doctor.” They go on to suggest steps we can take to help control our moods such as getting support from others and things we can do on our own.

In conclusion, most of us will experience mood swings and intense emotional changes. Again, we are not alone. We have multiple resources and we have each other. Please remember that we are worth fighting for.

“I am the face of a survivor, I am all of my pain and glory.

Not always picture perfect, Yet I am alive to tell my story.”

(— from “A Survivor’s Anthem” © Teresa I. Wright-Johnson)

You are invited to subscribe to my website at www.teresawrightjohnson.com

https://multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com/2017/07/18/the-emotional-roller-coaster-of-managing-emotions-with-ms/

In support of Multiple Sclerosis research:

http://www.nationalmssociety.org

http://msfocus.org

https://multiplesclerosisnewstoday.com

http://mymsaa.org

http://positivelivingwithms.com

http://facebook.com/msmemesandmore

https://mssociety.ca

https://stumblingprincess.com

http://www.msra.org.au/

Twitter hashtags:

#MS

#MultipleSclerosis

#fums

#mseducation

#msawareness

#curems

#mymsme

#MSwarrior

#MSstrong

#fightms

#MSAwarenessMonth

#stumblingprincess

#OMS

#WalkMS

#WalkTogether

#WeAreStrongerThanMS

#mssucks

#movingmountainsforms

#lesion

#myelin

#demyelination

#disease

#brain

#vertigo

#cure

NEVER GIVE UP!

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

Room 237 & The Shining:

It’s Back. But What Does It Mean?

Aide to Kubrick on ‘Shining’ Scoffs at ‘Room 237’ Theories

By David Segal

March 27, 2013

Danny Lloyd in “The Shining,” wearing an Apollo 11 sweater, which, says Leon Vitali, was not a reference by his boss, Stanley Kubrick, to the faking of the moon landing.

Warner Brothers.

Did you watch the classic 1980 horror film “The Shining” and think it was about a man driven to insane and murderous rage by a haunted hotel? If so, you blew it. Or rather, you missed profound messages subtly embedded in the film by its enigmatic director, Stanley Kubrick.

That, at least, is the notion behind “Room 237,” a documentary by Rodney Ascher released on Friday.

The movie is a series of voice-overs atop scenes from Kubrick movies by a small assortment of obsessives who have developed baroque theories about the true meaning of “The Shining.” One believes the film is about the slaughter of American Indians, another that it is about the Holocaust. Yet another claims it is a kind of apology by Kubrick for the putative role he played in helping to fake the moon landing.

And there’s more.

The documentary could be construed as a sly tribute to “The Shining” as measured by the startling variety of fanciful postulations and close viewings it has inspired. But the theories are presented with such a surprising lack of irony that it seems as though “Room 237” — the name refers to the scariest suite in the Kubrick movie’s snowbound Overlook Hotel — just might want its audience to take them seriously.

That makes the theories fair game for a sober assessment. And who better to provide one than Leon Vitali, who is listed in the closing credits of “The Shining” as personal assistant to the director? Mr. Vitali had an acting role in Kubrick’s 1975 movie “Barry Lyndon,” went to work for him soon after and remained on his payroll for decades. Mr. Vitali’s first task as an assistant was to fly to the United States to cast the role of Danny, the child of Jack (Jack Nicholson) and Wendy Torrance (Shelley Duvall). He was present during the 13-month filming at sound stages near London, and throughout post-production.

Mr. Vitali is a Briton who now lives in Los Angeles, where he works on his own and other film projects. He was recently sent an advance copy of “Room 237,” and not surprisingly it elicited a strong response.

A poster for the documentary “Room 237,” in which the moon-landing reference is proposed.

“I was falling about laughing most of the time,” he said by telephone. “There are ideas espoused in the movie that I know to be total balderdash.”

Take, for instance, the scene near the end of “The Shining” in which Jack Torrance is about to chop down a door as he chases his wife and child with an ax. The character recites a few lines of the “Three Little Pigs” story. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in,” Jack huffs, mugging and grinning in pure derangement. “Not by the hair on your chinny chin chin.”

In “Room 237,” Geoffrey Cocks, a professor of history at Albion College in Michigan and author of “The Wolf at the Door: Stanley Kubrick, History, and the Holocaust,” writes that Disney’s original animated version of “Three Little Pigs” featured an anti-Semitic caricature, a wolf dressed as a Jewish peddler. He ties that in with several supposed references to the Holocaust to suggest that Kubrick wanted to link the fictional horror in “The Shining” with the real-world horror of the Nazi concentration camps.

That reading implies that Kubrick planned to use “Three Little Pigs.” But according to Mr. Vitali, when the scene was being filmed Kubrick brainstormed with him and Mr. Nicholson what Jack Torrance ought to howl before swinging his ax.

“Stanley thought the scene needed something, a few lines for Jack that would make him sound threatening and nasty,” Mr. Vitali recalled, but lines that could, in another context, sound soothing. “Three Little Pigs” was proposed, but nobody was quite sure about the words. So Kubrick called the mother of Danny Lloyd, the child actor who’d won the role of Danny Torrance.

Leon Vitali

Stephen Shugerman/Getty Images.

“She was staying in an apartment nearby and she had the words to ‘Three Little Pigs’ right there,” Mr. Vitali said.

Mr. Vitali also cautioned against the suggestion that there might be Holocaust overtones to the German-made Adler typewriter that Jack uses to tap out his mad loop of “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

“That was Stanley’s typewriter,” he said. “A lot of decisions made on the set were about pragmatism: ‘This looks good. It sits on the oak table pretty perfectly.’ Not to mention, it’s a great typewriter. I used that typewriter for 10 years, actually.”

Kubrick, who died in 1999, was legendary for his perfectionism, but he also believed in improvisation. What looks to many of the Shinologists in “Room 237” like the result of careful planning is often mere happenstance.

There are scenes, for instance, in which Danny wears a sweater showing the Apollo 11 rocket. This becomes part of the faked-moon-landing theory, as articulated by Jay Weidner, an author and independent filmmaker.

Jack Nicholson in "The Shining."

Warner Brothers.

“That was knitted by a friend of Milena Canonero,” the costume designer, Mr. Vitali said. “Stanley wanted something that looked handmade, and Milena arrived on the set one day and said, ‘How about this?’ It was just the sort of thing that a kid that age would have liked.”

Likewise, the cans of Calumet baking powder seen in the Overlook pantry were chosen not because they featured an American Indian in headdress, thus highlighting Kubrick’s interest in the plight of the American Indian, but because they had bright, bold colors.

“Part of what I did during that trip to the U.S. in 1975 was shoot larders in hotels,” said Mr. Vitali, using the British word for pantries. “It was so that Stanley” — who was American born but had lived in England for years by then — “knew what one was likely to see there. And I found Calumet cans all over the place.”

Yet another contention is that a poster in the Overlook shows a Minotaur, suggesting that the movie is a retelling of the Greek myth about the part man, part bull.

“That astonished me,” Mr. Vitali said. “I stood staring at all that stuff for weeks while we were shooting in that room. It’s a downhill skier. It’s a downhill skier. It’s not a Minotaur.”

Mr. Vitali said he never spoke with Kubrick about any larger meaning in “The Shining.” “He didn’t tell an audience what to think or how to think,” he said, “and if everyone came out thinking something differently that was fine with him. That said, I’m certain that he wouldn’t have wanted to listen to about 70, or maybe 80 percent” of “Room 237.”

Why not?

“Because it’s pure gibberish.”