By Penelope Conway
June 19, 2017
:
Multiple
Sclerosis Association of America
When someone mentions multiple
sclerosis, a lot of people immediately think of numb body parts, walking
difficulties and fatigue. Those symptoms are fairly well known, but there is so
much more to this disease and so many more struggles that we endure daily –
sometimes silently – that should be talked about and shared.
To me, multiple sclerosis feels like
an earthquake went off inside my body and different body parts are experiencing
continual aftershocks.
I remember one day when I was
sitting on my couch typing out an email to a friend and my right hand began
shaking uncontrollably. It was weird and scary all at the same time. I
literally had no control over it. It seemed to be flopping about like a fish
out of water.
I sat there staring at it thinking
“Okay, you can stop now.” After some time it finally subsided a bit but still
goes on these crazy binges from time to time that I have no control over. I have
a weighted wristband that helps contain the tremors but even wearing that
doesn’t stop them entirely. There’s always a slight shakiness going on.
Because of multiple sclerosis my
body has been known to jerk and twitch without being provoked, I’ve thrown
things across the room unintentionally, and once I even kicked someone…although
that one could have been on purpose. I’ll never tell.
I also have this weird thing with my
ears. They ring constantly and there’s a repetitive flutter happening in my
right one like when water gets trapped in your ears while swimming and it’s
trying to work its way out. Someone could be talking to me and instead of
listening to them, I’m thinking “stop ringing, stop fluttering, just STOP!”
There are times when I may want my
legs to move and they won’t, or need a hand to function and it rebels, but when
sensation is out of whack too…that’s an entirely different level of weird. I
have two fingers on my left hand that feel like ice all day long even in the
heat of summer. I also have this strange feeling of water dripping down my
cheek from time to time. I know it’s not real but I find myself constantly
checking just in case.
Then there’s this strange feeling I
have of bugs crawling across my skin and an incessant itching feeling in my
arms that won’t stop with scratching, rubbing or creams…all happening inside my
body where no one can see.
It kind of becomes like that old
saying “If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does
it make a sound?” Well, I can tell you for a fact that if the nerves in
your body break and no one can see the damage, they really do make you do weird
things.
Don’t let your body’s craziness
drive you crazy in the process. It’s hard dealing with an out of control body.
Sometimes you want to scream at it and at your entire life…”Stop! Just STOP!”
But life goes on and nothing ever seems to stop. Know that you aren’t alone.
There are others of us who understand and face this unseen monster too in some
very weird and strange ways.
Normal is no longer what it used to
be.
In
support of Multiple Sclerosis research:
Twitter
hashtags:
#MS
#MultipleSclerosis
#fums
#mseducation
#msawareness
#curems
#mymsme
#MSwarrior
#MSstrong
#fightms
#MSAwarenessMonth
#stumblingprincess
#OMS
#WalkMS
#WalkTogether
#WeAreStrongerThanMS
#mssucks
#lesion
#myelin
#demyelination
#disease
#brain
#vertigo
#cure
NEVER GIVE UP!
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