January 17, 2017
by
Grief
can weaken our immune system, elevate our blood pressure, and affect our
overall health. During a loss, especially one of the magnitude of a loved
one, self-preservation is not always a top priority. For those of us with
multiple sclerosis, the mental anguish that is grief can exacerbate our
already compromised condition. It is important not to lose awareness of
ourselves during this overwhelming time. Grieving is an unavoidable, yet natural
and necessary, way to help us heal mentally and emotionally. It is,
however, not a place to reside.
Staying
in an extended state of bereavement can be detrimental to your overall health
and to your mental well-being. Everything I have read on this subject stresses
that, at some point, you need to move forward. While still honoring,
remembering and cherishing the memories of the deceased, you also need to
remember yourself.
There
comes a time to consider grief counseling, doctors’ advice, eating and sleeping
correctly, and making yourself the main priority. That time should come sooner,
rather than later, during the grieving process.
After
my mother’s death in 1995, I was heartbroken and my grief carried on for years.
It then snowballed when it overlapped with my father’s passing in 2003. My
progression toward MS accelerated during that time. My symptoms were minor
before my parents’ passings, but with my grief my teetering balance, chronic
fatigue and abnormal gait became much more apparent. I chose to live with my
suffering as my mourning continued; I just couldn’t seem to let go of the pain.
With
losing my Mom, I lost my best friend, my confidant and my advisor. With my Dad
gone, I lost a loving and caring father.
I went
on with my life not being fully present, existing in a state of elevated
depression, fatigue and detachment. I had a husband and three teenage children
at that time and I continued the motions of living, but I didn’t feel alive. It
took time for me to realize that my mother and father wouldn’t want this for
me. They would only want the best for my life. I had to move on.
It was
like digging myself out of a hole. I had to step back into life and I didn’t
know how.
Then
came my multiple sclerosis diagnosis. A loss of a different kind, and I wallowed
in that grief for a while as well. Eventually, dealing with my MS helped me to
regain some of the fight I had lost. It helped to guide and lift me out of my
grief. I received help with my depression in the form of therapy, and an
anti-depressant I used for two years. Two things I should have sought out much
sooner.
Luckily,
I am in a much better place in my life today. I have let my grief go and I
enjoy living life again. I always make a conscious effort to be aware of my
well-being during times of stress and loss.
Debi
Wilson:
Debi is
a retired Admissions and Marketing Director and currently resides in the
Pacific Northwest. She is married and the Mother of three grown children and
has three Grandchildren. She was diagnosed with PPMS in 2010. She hopes to help
and inspire others that are also dealing with MS.
In
support of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) research:
Never
give up!
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