Flying Monkeys Denied is a C-PTSD and
Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Website
Friday, January 8, 2016
What
is Bullying? “Bullying is conduct that cannot be objectively justified by a
reasonable code of conduct, and whose likely or actual cumulative effect is to
threaten, undermine, constrain, humiliate or harm another person or their
property, reputation, self-esteem, self-confidence or ability to perform.” claims
BullyOnline.org, a Narcissistic Abuse recovery website devoted to exposing
workplace bullying specifically in all its toxic and hyperextending forms.
People
who situationally abuse victims then lie or blame shift while smear campaigning
the credibility of victims behave in covert manners for incredibly scary and
disheartening reasons. Shame is the name of game toxic people play in order to
make themselves feel better at other people’s expense each and every day.
The
first reason people situationally abuse is that they are of sound mind and know
full well the difference between socially appropriate behaviors and what they
say or do. Hiding guilt — rather than proudly proclaiming the truth about their
covert actions — is a power play used to dominate and persistently
re-traumatize their victims.
Yes.
But
those are not the real reason why abusers do nasty or naughty things to
children, pets, and other people in secret.
They
hide the abuse because they know it is wrong to do. By the time any human is
12, if they are even remotely intelligent and don’t have a physically
debilitating mental handicap, they know instinctively the difference between
right and wrong.
Kids
who have good natures will always strive to do the right thing at the right
time for the right reason, introspecting regularly in order to grow their own
situational ethics experiential knowledge banks.
Those
who are narcissistic and/or who show anti-social personality traits will
actively engage in materialistic pursuits, will pitch fits and temper tantrums
to upset and embarrass (translation = control) adults, and won’t hesitate to do
things like bully or lie to get their selfish and borderline sociopathic ways.
If
a person fails to control their temper during family arguments but appears cool
as a cucumber when authorities are called, you have the biggest indicator right
there that A) their bad behavior is a choice and B) they actively know that
what they are doing is morally wrong or in some way illegal. The very real fact
that a violent domestic abuser can control themselves in workplace environments
around co-workers or clients they are striving to impress means their temper is
ALWAYS under control.
Abusive
people bully others by verbally attacking them or trying to intimidate them
physically when and if they want to feel powerful and choose to assault a
target. Then, after doing so, they see nothing wrong with their actions — only
something wrong with a victim or traumatized witness who chooses to bring the
truth out into the light.
Such
victims are socially ostracized by people who are abusive by nature, with the
strongest predators leading the victim shaming smear campaigns, telling their
lies and gaslighting stories, and
invariably striving 24/7 to mislead other people while avoiding responsibility
entirely and striving to impress.
People
who laugh at victim pain or ridicule scapegoat targets are sadistic by nature.
They have low Emotional IQ — meaning no matter how intelligent they are on an
academic rubric, when it comes to being a decent human being — if there is a
God paying attention they inevitably earn a huge karmic “F”.
People
who make up stories about other people to embarrass and socially damage are
guilty of being such types — utterly narcissistic and caustic to any social
conversation or environment to which they bullish or stalwartly play
intercessor. Their opinions from a subjective standpoint stop having
credibility from the first moment they lie with intent to deceive, manipulate,
shift blame, or con.
Truly,
there may always be more than one side subjectively to a story — but when there
are only two people who were present to exchange dialog and one is lying?
Then,
you are only left with the truth, the victim’s subjective experience assertion,
and a person who knowingly, intentionally lies and manipulates while
deliberately manufacturing convenient fictions in an attempt to drive the real
victim up a wall with frustration.
Gaslighting is invalidation to the extreme — a
conversational and psychological mind control strategy capable of doing
everyone involved great harm.
[Note,
for the sake of disclosure, the writers of this page tend to measure success by
good produced for all rather than one. As such, a narcissistic family who
succeeds in “beating” their perceived scapegoat targets and rivals to
self-advance are actually spiritually, mentally, and psychologically
backsliding down the evolutionary ladder rung by decayed and tarnishing rung.]
Bullying,
then, is gaslighting one person into
believing they somehow deserve abuse or in any way brought some unfair, unjust,
and fundamentally illogical version of great punishment on themselves.
It
is being shown by experience that being fat makes you the J-Lo butt of all
jokes rather than appreciated and recognized for actual things in life a person
can accomplish as an individual of quality.
It’s
being picked on for being 6 foot 4, feeling like for some reason you should
hunch your shoulders or not wear high heels (if you are a tall girl) for some
other reason than you don’t want to bash the top of your head each and every
time you walk through a door.
Bullying
can be mild or wild, depending on the personality of the antagonist leading the
charge. When one person targets another for abuse, it’s called bullying. When
they entice others to join in trouncing the victim in the worst of all reckless
Tigger-esque pounce-bounce events, it’s called mobbing.
Mobbing
bullies are typically led or socially influenced by stronger predators. A
church congregation, for instance, like Westboro Baptist Church, may have
started out in its infancy as a social collective of people who were seeking
community through faith.
If
a religious leader had a Cluster B personality disorder
or the church leaders exhibit pack-mentality behaviors, then their gaslighting arguments are likely
to be based on illogical arguments form a LOGICAL FALLACY in the
philosophical debate sense coupled with fear promotion mixed with a twisted
variant of Pascal’s Wager thrown in for substance.
People
who bully socially en masse like church congregations, ISIS, or the KKK teach
their members from the earliest of ages that they are fighting a way of
life. They constantly strive to manufacture chaos and upset for other people
while striving to make themselves feel better.
Sadly,
the fact they must resort to hurting other people to elevate their own emotions
is an incontrovertible poker tell that a person is not only narcissistic but
that their personality type has an element of reckless and feckless anti-social
competitiveness.
What
does that mean?
It
means when they show their ass, they reveal not only egocentrism but a
propensity for sadism.
Bullying,
then, as a social coping strategy, is being used to give pleasure to the person
doing the tormenting. Nothing more, nothing less.
People
who bully strive at all times to destroy others. When they are successful at
knocking another person off a trajectory path for success, they feel pleasure.
When
human beings feel pleasure — whatever the psychological or physical source — a
cascade of positive-feeling emotions rushes through them. Conversely,
adrenaline is produced in a hunter, with only toxic “flight or fight” chemicals
being flooded through a victim.
As
such, when people with Cluster B personalities say something awful to hurt, shame,
humiliate, or embarrass a target, really all they are doing is clearly
demonstrating they are unable to control their own selfish emotions. They hurt
others to physically alleviate boredom as well as to produce in themselves a
gushing wave of pleasurable sensations.
That’s
why they never see self-sabotage the same way other humans do, narcissistic,
borderline, histrionic, or anti-social
people. Because they are predatory by nature, their biological impulse leaves
them absolutely at the mercy of their own psychology and human biology.
Bullies
and the Flying Monkeys who enable or mob attack with them typically are the
sort of people with a limited capacity to feel the physical sensation of
empathy as an emotion (meaning noun) or as an act involving complex fluidity to
emotional conception.
They
simply don’t “get” what average or above average people are even referring to
when they discuss empathetic behaviors. They don’t get it because it’s how
their brain’s physically developed over time due to influences of genetics as
well as experiences.
If
neural synapses never formed properly according to healthful childhood
development, people — meaning brains with bodies — “grow up” stunted.
Functional incapacitation of empathy responses that serve to protect humans as
a species can be literally and figuratively speaking choked off in the mind of
a child forced to endure or witness trauma.
The
trauma connection is the key to both readily identifying abusers and abuse
victims. It’s also what is likely to be the determining factor in the future of
Forensic Psychology.
With
technology improving at rapid rates, it has become clear to scientists
that some human minds physically — from a physical level, referring solely to
biology — have a space in the brain that lights up when people feel or express
empathy.
For
people biologically incapable of feeling the emotion, the stimulus is applied
and nothing happens. Something else curious has been found… and parents of
children with Childhood Conduct Disorder or Oppositional Defiant Disorder or
adult children of Cluster
B
narcissistic parents should pay careful attention.
Studies
are showing — not subjective studies but literally screen capture versions of
machines measuring and photographing brain function — that people who have a
thinning of the membrane where feelings of empathy typically manifest on a
brain scan both appear to be and report they have less empathy than other
people.
Most
people with this sort of thinning tend to have NPD — meaning they have
been formally or informally diagnosed from a clinical standpoint with Narcissistic
Personality Disorder.
These
folks are easy to spot bragging about their own lack of care and concern for
other people, their ability to manipulate (sales targets especially), and truly
are those most readily inclined to spend time actively trolling to cyber bully.
The more covert they are about hiding their NPD nature, the more
likely they are to use social media and other websites to harm ratherthant
support growth and human learning.
They
are also the most likely to situationally abuse the taunt victims, saying
things like, “Who are they going to believe?” if a victim threatens to tell
parents, police, court officials, family, a schoolteacher, a boss, or friends
when and if they are a malicious sadist proud of actively having deceived them.
As
such, whether you are 9 or 90, the likelihood you will encounter at least 12 or
more bullies who pathologically lie, con, situationally abuse, smear campaign
to socially destroy rivals for no reason other than to produce self-benefit, or
worse are statistically probable.
Over
6% of the human population living on planet Earth as of the year 2015 is
reported to meet or exceed diagnostic criteria for having NPD. Another 4% meet or
exceed criteria based on the DSM5 publication for having Anti-Social
Personality disorder. Another 2% meet criteria for Borderline Personality
disorder and so on.
It
does not take a Vegas pro gambler to figure out the odds someone you know, hang
out with, or have to work with is likely to have a Cluster B personality disorder.
People who call other people things like, “Psycho” and “Narcissist” as if it’s
some form of heated insult truly make themselves look foolish, uneducated, and
spiteful.
Victims
all over the world would love to see personality problems like NPD and narcissistic
tendencies rooted out wherever and whenever possible. Science finding the
defective “alcoholic gene” are on the front line, spearheading the march to
help those who cannot help themselves self-regulate find the necessary inner
biological peace and piece to internally learn to regulate themselves.
It
just takes one smart clinical researcher reading an article such as this to
figure out that Narcissism, as a biologically driven impetus, cannot be cured
through traditional psychological “talk it out” methods alone. Sorting the
wheat from the proverbial chaff is going to be key in the next 100 years of
medical advancement.
If
machines learn to detect early on with an image scan that a growing child’s brain
is failing to make the empathy pathway neural net, simple behavior management
strategies and NLP techniques can be applied to a subject to determine if
growing the capacity to experience the emotion we call empathy is even a
remotely functional possibility.
If
it’s not but behavior that is problematic can be re-trained, then children born
with a propensity for sadism or egoism may — over the course of their own
lifetime even — be empirically saved.
To
strive to help decrease the abusive tendencies and/or actions of a toxic person
is not offering to forgive them. It’s also not excusing, rationalizing, or
justifying their behaviors.
When
a dog is bad and bites humans with relish, you chain it, muzzle it, and if it
cannot be properly socialized you PUT IT DOWN.
Humans
are animals who follow instinctive patterns.
If
a person who ended up narcissistic or anti-social because of the environment
they were raised in from birth to age 4 was a hostile or unsafe one, regressing
them to their earliest state from a hypnotherapy standpoint then working
diligently with them to recover memories and re-train their brain may produce a
flock of thirty-somethings, forty-somethings, and fifty-somethings running
around with adult IQ but the EQ of young and developing children running
around… but seriously.
Wouldn’t
you rather live in a world filled with hope that the sheer number of humans on
the planet who have Cluster B natures due to nurture rather than strict biological
impairment could be reduced by practical application of proper parenting and
communal socialization than the world Fox News swears on their life we are
living in now?
Just
asking — because empathetic parents of children born with NPD, BPD, ASPD, or HSP natures and
adult children of alcoholics, drug users, sex addicts, and Narcissists are
struggling on the front lines, trying to save their toxic adult children from
themselves.
The
plight has nothing
whatsoever to do with co-dependency or enabling in such cases.
Why
do people bully or abuse in secret?
Because
it truly is a bizarre and unsoothable cry they collectively make while
attention-seeking. Perfectly happy the way they are, their life plan is to
continue to willfully harm others. Imagine their surprise if it came to their
attention they were a much better “fix”.
Truly,
the rush of feeling like you are a part of something loving, wonderful, and
bigger than yourself is an emotion Narcissists and most psychologically
traumatized people seldom if ever have the emotional capacity to experience.
Empaths
understand (which is why we keep striving to problem solve on their behalf).
It’s not a co-dependent thing… showing mercy. It’s also not a co-dependent
thing to want success for yourself simultaneously with others.
The
human mind is like a computer. You might be a bully if you have defective
hardware or software.
For
that reason, before you name call and bully in a baiting, provoking, or antagonistic
(non-compassionate) way, consider using academic psychiatric terms to describe
the behaviors you witness, go gray rock while depersonalizing attacks, and
figure out a way to HELP.
The
human mind is like a computer. You might be a bully if you have defective
hardware or software.
Plato's
Stunt Double
DISCLOSURE:
The author of this post is in no way offering professional advice or
psychiatric counseling services. Please contact your local authorities
IMMEDIATELY if you feel you are in danger. If you suspect your partner, a loved
one, co-worker, or family member has a Cluster B personality disorder, contact
your local victim's advocate or domestic violence shelter for more information
about how to protect your rights legally and to discuss the potential benefits
or dangers of electing to go "no contact" with your abuser(s). Due to
the nature of this website's content, we prefer to keep our writer's names
ANONYMOUS. Please contact flyingmonkeysdenied@gmail.com directly to discuss
content posted on this website, make special requests, or share your confidential
story about Narcissistic Abuse with our staff writers. All correspondence will
be kept strictly confidential.
In
support of Narcissistic Abuse awareness and recovery.
June
1st is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness
Day (WNAAD).
Recommended
websites for research and recovery:
http://www.wnaad.com/
http://flyingmonkeysdenied.com/
http://www.innerintegration.com/
http://www.drgeorgesimon.com/
https://kimsaeed.com/
https://www.psychopathfree.com/
https://eclecticalu.blogspot.com/
https://micheleleenieves.com/
https://www.thriveafterabuse.com/
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#Infidelity #MicroAggression #NarcissisticAbuse
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