By Kirsten Corley
June 12th 2017
When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right
to the truth. When you cheat, you steal the right to fairness. – The Kite
Runner.
When I sat
across the table listening as she told me the story of her breakup, the words
cheating left me hating someone I didn’t even know. Here before me sat this
beautiful girl inside and out and the only thought that crossed my mind was how
could anyone cheat on someone like you? The next thought that crossed my mind
was it’s his loss.
But I
listened to fine details as she questioned herself like it was her fault. Like
it was something she did wrong. Like she was to blame for someone’s inability
to see her worth and value. And as she ran over details questioning everything
and I watched as she broke before me. I saw firsthand the effects cheating had
on someone. And all I wanted to do was hug her and tell her his loss will be
someone’s gain. But I knew in my heart she wouldn’t believe me because he
didn’t just take away a relationship from her, he took so much more in an act
selfishness.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is their self-confidence. Suddenly they are looking at their reflection like
there’s something they need to improve on and change.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is their self-respect. You made them look like a fool because you couldn’t be
loyal.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is the right to the truth. Suddenly everything in the past feels like a lie as
they run over details that used to make them smile, they can’t anymore.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is disbelieving in love. Because what you teach them is it’s a lie. And they
never fully get over that or let someone that close in the future.
I sat on a barstool across the table from my ex
and I knew I’d come for answers that would be hard to hear. Maybe that’s why I
didn’t cry when he owned up to everything. Maybe that’s why I didn’t flinch
when he admitted it. Maybe that’s why I sat there calmly with a mature response
I didn’t know I had in me at 21. “If you are learning from this experience even
if it’s at the cost of breaking my heart and it makes you better for the next
relationship then that’s all I can hope for.”
When you cheat what you take away from someone
are nights of sleep as they toss and turn because the truth completely
blindsided and traumatized them.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is their happiness because you were this person who made them so happy but all
of that is gone now and there is this cold reality it was never real, to begin
with.
When you cheat what you take away from someone
is trusting anyone because no matter how many compliments you gave them something
tells them it wasn’t enough and that’s why you weren’t loyal.
When you cheat what you leave them with is a
crippling pain as they break down at random times during the day feeling
completely ashamed of it. Because you don’t just get over someone cheating that
easily.
I looked at her as I ordered a drink smiling.
Then I looked at him across the room. Part of me wanted to tell her what I
knew. Girl code. She deserved the truth. But she also deserved better. I just
didn’t want to be the one to break it to her. I knew it wasn’t in my place. I
knew karma or fate would eventually reveal the ugly cards he was playing in
some game he thought he made up the rules to. So, I said thank you and I walked
away.
When you cheat you ruin them. You destroy them. You
leave them insecure. You leave them doubting themselves.
When you cheat what you leave them with is a
strength they didn’t even know they had and they know they can overcome
anything.
When you cheat what you leave them with is a new
found self and being so cautious no one will ever hurt them that way again.
When you cheat what you leave them with is
knowing it was your loss this whole time and not theirs.
When you cheat what you leave them with is an
opportunity and a chance to meet someone who would never even think to cheat on
them because your mistake is someone’s prayers finally answered.
When you cheat you give them a happy ending you
didn’t deserve to be a part of in the first place.
So, cheat if you want to. Lie. Sneak around. But know the truth, no
matter how coy you think you are, always will get revealed. And in the end,
it’s you who ends up alone and eventually, you will get a taste of your own
medicine.
Kirsten
Corley is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of
poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.
In support of Narcissistic
Abuse awareness and recovery.
June 1st is World Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day (WNAAD).
Recommended websites for research and recovery:
Twitter hashtags:
#AbuseByProxy #Adultery #AgainstBullying #BackStabbers #ClusterB #CPTSD #Enablers #FlirtingIsCheating #FlyingMonkeys #Gaslighting #HealingFromCPTSD #IAmEnough #IAmStillStanding #IfMyWoundsWereVisible #Infidelity #MicroAggression #NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #Narcissist #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticSupply #Psychopath #PsychopathFree #SmearCampaign #Sociopath #ThrivingAfterNarcissisticAbuse #TwoFaced #WNAAD
